Surrounded by Love

A few nights ago before we sat down to dinner I grabbed a piece of poster paper and a bright marker. In the very center, I drew a heart with the word ‘You’ in the middle. I laid the poster next to my plate and sat the kids around us.

The kids, each in their own way, have expressed some fears lately. Makenna has been having nightmares about dragons, dinosaurs and various monsters. It may sound silly but it’s real to her. She’s been ending up in our bed every other night or so needing comfort. Hailey, being of my genes, has been worrying about her upcoming start of 1st grade. She worries about ‘messing up,’ not fitting in, being laughed at for one thing or another and, since it’s a new school, getting lost. Anthony’s are a bit more serious, though each kids fears are equally real to them. Since losing our G-ma suddenly in February (an almost instant brain aneurism) he’s been worrying about loosing other family members. He worries about being ‘left behind’ if Brad and I were gone. He of course knows the heart of the lesion I was about to teach but when you’re in the grip of a fear, logic doesn’t always win out.

So, with the three sitting around me, I showed them the heart and asked them to help me brainstorm the names of people that love ‘You.’ They started out with the obvious, Mom, Dad, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and close cousins. Then we started talking about friends, Scout leaders, teachers, church leaders, etc. Anthony asked if these people truly ‘loved’ us or if they were just friends. My return question was: “If you went to any of these people and said you had an emergency and needed immediate help, would they do it? Would they drop what they were doing to help you?” The answer was yes, if we had a crisis, they would unquestionably help.

As our poster board started to fill up, name after name linked by a line directly to our heart, Makenna said God, Hailey chimed in Jesus and Anthony said G-ma, Papa and Pappy. (Grandparents who’ve passed away) Hailey questioned weather or not they could help from heaven. My answer was, that like God and Jesus, sometimes we don’t always see the direct ways they help us but I believe that if we were in any danger, those we love that are watching over us would do everything they could to help us, even if it was only to wrap us in a constant invisible hug.

After our poster was full and we had written most of the names we could think of (most of the ones that the kids have met in person, although in my heart I know there are those out there from Brad and my past that would step up to help our children if ever the true need arose) I pinned the poster up behind the kitchen table.

“This poster represents the group of people that love you, unconditionally, and will be here for you if ever you ask. These people would take care of you for the rest of your life if something were to happen to Mom and Dad. These people don’t care if you fumble, stumble, say something wrong or can’t remember where your class is. They love you anyways. These people would help you fight a dragon if ever needed. These people are your family, your friends and your community. With them behind us, we overcome any obstacle; override any fear and stand, always, with our head held high.”

“But, it’s our job, to be at the ready to do the same for them. It is our job to be a loyal family, good friends and active community members so that if any one of the people on our list were to write a list of their own, we would be on it. Unconditional love does not come with a price, the very definition of unconditional means at no cost, but, love creates love. The more we do our part in the world, the more others will recognize us and our poster of love will grow. You are surrounded by love. Don’t be afraid, be brave, ask for help when you need it and never miss a chance to show or receive love.”

The poster, several days later, still hangs above our table and the kids have each referenced it at various times. Makenna reminds herself of it at night before she sleeps to help ward off her nightmares. Hailey continues to come up with names we could add, names of people she loves and would help. Anthony and I have been exchanging text messages (digital age!) “You are surrounded by love” and the response is “And, you’re a dork” since he is a boy after all and thinks it’s a bit cheesy. (I know though, that the message resounded with him, I can tell in his demeanor and the fact that he has gone out of his way a few extra times to tell us he loves us)

I think I’m going to find a way to frame the poster or a copy of it and hang it in our hallway right between the kids’ bedrooms. What a great reminder to look at daily. We all can use a reminder now and then that we are not alone, that we have an army behind us ready if we only ask and that we can be called to the ready at any point.